Turkey and the attack of a sweaty singing fat man

What's up,
Turkey was sick I had a good time in Istanbul and only wish that I would have had a chance to see other parts of Turkey, I think I may have to go back again sometime. I met all types of people in the city and had very unique and sometimes downright strange interactions with all of them. There was the 15 year old kid Heusain who worked the 12 hour night shift at the hostel I stayed at. He played a bit of chess and I would battle with him and show him moves after he had finished his work for the evening. He was still very much in the learning stage of his English but would greet me every morning with a "whats up man" and a proper kid like hand shake, the kind you see on MTV, it made me laugh every time. Then there was the girl from Portugal I shared breakfast with, who after knowing her for only 5 minutes started talking about how she loved Turkey because of the harry men and was glad that the guys on the beach didn't look like little boys (it was a strange convo I'm not going to lie). There was also the Danish kid who I found playing chess and talking tons of shit on the roof. I was of course immediately excited, seeing a chess board and hearing someone talking shit about chess just makes me all wet inside. Unfortunately he was pretty much all hot air, we played a few games and in the words of my dutch chess friend ron, "I crushed him". (see now I get to talk shit). There was also the Turkish barber who did a great job cutting my hair and even burned the hair off my ears when he was finished saying the whole time "this is Turkish, very special".

Now for the attack of the sweaty singing fat man, I had to start a new paragraph because this was just too weird and it deserved it's own space. Being in Turkey I figured I have to experience a Turkish bath. So I paid my money, got naked and put my towel on and then was led into a damp moldy room and told to lay down on a hot slab of marble located in the room's center. Up to this point not so weird, kind of like a sauna just not as hot. I was alone laying on the slab and it was about 10 minutes before I heard him, At first it was just a faint singing from the other side of the door, Then it opened and in stepped the beast of a harry Turkish man who I was destined to do battle with. I'm not sure if he really didn't speak English or if he was just fucking with me but it was a strictly Turkish affair. He was only wearing a towel and his chest/back hair was glorious, the kind that had been well kept for all his life and had never seen a razor, not even once. I was told to sit next to a wash basin and while my new friend went on singing Turkish songs at the top of his lungs I was drenched towel and all in luke warm water. Then the washing began, first just my head and back and then he moved to my chest and armpits, at this point I'm thinking, I don't give a fuck how they do it here this guy is not touching the world cup under any circumstances ( the world cup is the name I've given to my nut sack for those who don't know).He sensed this I think and minded his distance. I was then pushed to the marble slab and told to lay face down. He lathered me up in at least a 3 foot high mound of bubbles and gave me one of the most painful massages I've ever had in my entire life. The rest of the event went as I'm sure you can imagine, me sitting in pain and covered with bubbles on a warm stone slab like a piece of meat, my Turkish conqueror singing and working me to a pulp. When he finally walked away laughing it was over. I came out of the damp room and was given new towels and the lady even rapped on around my head, I felt like a sultan. I have the greatest half sensual Z ever from the dressing room after the event, unfortunately I can't upload shit because none of the computers in Egypt have USB connections, so you'll have to wait.

I'm going to save Egypt for when I get back to Garmisch on the 8th because the description will be much more meaningful with something to look at. I've got to run but remember if in Turkey say yes to the Turkish bath, worst case it will make you laugh.

I saw the pyramids today they were sick, I'm not going to talk about it without pics though. I'm headed on the night train to Luxor tomorrow night. Much love and I'll see you all soon, the summer is flying by.