The night before

I've packed and re-packed my back pack more times then I can count. I've walked around my house with it on for almost a week now. I've taken my little dog max (AKA the pompadon prince) on walks with it, showed and unpacked it in front of every member of my family while carefully explaining the contents. Even after all of this preparation tomorrow still doesn't feel real to me, sitting in my room I'm only barely starting to feel that slight uneasiness in my stomach that always seems to find me when I'm on the verge of something new. I guess it's a good thing I'm still in one piece, I was a mess the night before I left to India. I've learned that the best thing is to just focus on the simple tasks ahead, getting on the plane, writing this, etc. It's strange how on the eve of any change, no matter how fun you know it will be there is that tiny bit of aversion towards leaving something comfortable, it feels almost instinctual. The feeling in the pit of my stomach lets me know that I care, and that this is something worth doing. I know the side of my self I found in India will find me after a few days, but now it couldn't feel farther away. I know it's still there, somewhere buried underneath the person who has been living in the relative ease of the "American dream". I'm excited to greet this old friend, to sit and feel comfortable with him again, to be moved to tears by the beautiful life that we share.


But all I can do now is focus on the task at hand, which happens to be trying to get some form of sleep. I love you all.